Wednesday 22 April 2009

Geo Caching

Had our first go at Geo Caching today. Not a great success despite the use of a 3G Iphone and sat nav ;-)



I do like the idea though so will persevere.

Saturday 28 March 2009

Visit to Bath

Last weekend we had a wonderful visit to Bath, to celebrate my mother-in-laws 80 birthday. We stayed in a Travellodge the Waterside which I can strongly recommend.

Bath is a lovely city, dating back to originally Roman and earlier, it grew up around a hot spring. Bath houses were built as the spring had "healing" powers. You can still see the original bath house, although it has been closed for bathing for a while. Recently a new bath has opened, where you can go to swim in the waters, sit in the sauna and have various treatments, facials, massages etc. We have tried it and thouroughly enjoyed it.

We ate in the McDonalds Bath Spa restaurant, a super meal with excellent service. The next day being mothers day we had lunch in the pump room adjoining the old Roman Baths. Here you can taste the water (it was not to my liking!)

Bath has many secrets, some of which can be discovered on a free walking tour which leaves the pump rooms every day (see the tourist office for details.) In addition as a National trust member you can take the bus tours for a greatly reduced price. I love the bus tours and always do one in any city I visit.

We had fun in the crazy golf course, it is one of the best ones I know. It is in the park below the Royal Crescent.

All in all very enjoyable weekend.

Monday 9 March 2009

American declarations of a different sort

Claire, My sister-in-law is off to America this week. She is going on holiday. Before you leave for America you have to complete a declaration (on line). Here are the questions you must answer.

A) Do you have a communicable disease; physical or mental disorder; or are you a drug abuser or addict?
- Now this one I can understand, you wouldn't want to let in any nutters to the country, I mean they have guns and stuff for sale in Walmart for goodness sake.

B) Have you ever been arrested or convicted for an offense or crime involving moral turpitude or a violation related to a controlled substance; or have been arrested or convicted for two or more offenses for which the aggregate sentence to confinement was five years or more; or have been a controlled substance trafficker; or are you seeking entry to engage in criminal or immoral activities?
- Isn't this just a little too much to expect someone to answer truthfully. "Oh go on then you got me bang to rights, I once committed a crime of moral turpitude (I didn't pay for parking!) oh and yes I do intend to rob a bank.

C) Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage; or in terrorist activities; or genocide; or between 1933 and 1945 were you involved , in any way, in persecutions associated with Nazi Germany or its allies?
- You can just imagine it can't you.
"Name"
"Adolf Hilter"
"Can you answer question C please!"
" Ya I have definitely not been involved, nein not me!"

D) Are you seeking to work in the U.S.; or have you ever been excluded and deported; or been previously removed from the United States or procured or attempted to procure a visa or entry into the U.S. by fraud or misrepresentation?
- Bugger caught me out again. Yup I want to work in McDonald's.

E) Have you ever detained, retained or withheld custody of a child from a U.S. citizen granted custody of the child?
- Who do you think I am? Madonna?

F) Have you ever been denied a U.S. visa or entry into the U.S. or had a U.S. visa canceled?
- Yup but please give me a second chance ;-)

G) Have you ever asserted immunity from prosecution?
- Wait a moment isn't that part of the constitution? What was that fifth amendment again?

Now I understand that they want to make sure that only upright and virtuous citizens go there but I have to wonder, has anyone ever said yes? When they do what happens? Also in reality, is anyone who should be answering yes ever going to do so to these question?

Wouldn't it be better for the US immigration service to just ask "Are you a goody or a baddy?"

On a different vein, I should be OK as I am a member of the Mafia I can safely answer yes to all these questions
;-)

Sunday 8 March 2009

There's a book in all of us

Isn't the internet great? Today I discovered blurb.com. This site allows you to create a book and get it printed for less than a £10 with a minimum order of one. You download and install some very simple to use software (for free). It allows you to decide on the type of book you want ranging from small square 7" by 7" soft back to large 13" by 11" size coffee table hardback. You can select a range of pre-made templates; pictures, pictures and text or mainly text. Adding content is really easy, load pictures and drag and drop them into the template, cut and paste text or type directly. There are tons of themes to make your book look good. The web site has a demo that explains how the software works, plus advice on your book.

I downloaded the software yesterday and within 15 minutes had got a reasonably good looking picture book of my great God Daughter (see Becky I do listen). It didn't seem to like low quality pictures, probably to granular when printed. I thought it would be nice to make her a book she can keep of pictures from her first year.

Perhaps, eventually I will write a book, on the vagaries of writing a blog!

On a slightly more mundane matter, I forgot to mention the reason for the arrival of all the family. My mother in law is 80 this month so we are having a posh family meal in Bath in a few weeks. My sister-in-law arrived today, from Singapore, my nephew and his dad are coming from Hongkong, so we will have a full complement. I'm getting excited. Will keep you posted on the arrangements, meanwhile if anyone has any suggestions for activities to do in Bath please point me at them?

Thursday 5 March 2009

Beth is back from Asia - hurrah! Chester too!!!

Beth my niece, (think a young Audrey Hepburn) and Chester her boyfriend (think Freddy Mercury) have been travelling in the far east. Have a look at Chester's blog for some of the fantastic pictures he has taken, more to come.

We had a family get together in their honour, during which we heard about some of the joys and pitfalls of back packing in the far east. It made me realise how lucky we are in the West. Worst experience, sleeping in a hotel that was infested with bed bugs, so much so that they had to have their cloths and luggage fumigated, and even throw away some stuff. As Chester put it "we saved a few pounds on the room but spent £100 on the aftermath." Second worst experience an en-suite that was effectively a hole in the ground with a shower over it. Still as Chester said "at least I could Sh*t, shave and shower all at the same time."

We take so much for granted in the UK, clean sheets in hotels, running water, trains that run on time, with padded seats, the ability to drink the water without getting sick. We should remember how lucky we are and stop moaning about credit crunches and the like. Think of the positive things we have, our health, our family, heat and light.

Best experience for Beth and Chester? Coming home to see me of course!!

Wednesday 4 March 2009

Making money on line

Anyone who has read my other blog will know that it is based around making an easy buck. I was so fed up with seeing all these get rich quick schemes on the Internet that I set up http://simonsaysmakemoneynow.blogspot.com/ as the antithesis of that genre. It talks about ways that you can make money in your spare time, but through good honest graft. I have to be honest, I have adverts on my blog, using a product called AdSense from Google (and on this one to) and I do receive a (small) kick back from Google whenever someone clicks on an advert on my blog. Or so I thought.

Now far be it from me to disbelieve Google, but I know (have seen people) clicking on adverts yet it doesn't show up on my statement. It must therefore be something to do with the type of advert. I'll let you know what I find out.

Curiously one of the sets of adverts that popped up on this blog recently was to do with all things papal. Did you know you can stay in the Vatican city (that's kind of like the Pope's private country in Rome) bed and breakfast. I wonder if you get breakfast in bed served by a nun ;-) Another one that caught my eye was http://www.catholicmatch.com/. How much fun can you have I wonder?

Feel free to check out some of the other fun stuff that comes up (you will feel richer for it and so will I ;-)

Tuesday 3 March 2009

Doing a Wendy

Today, I wish to propose a new verb to the English language. It's to Wendy (someone or something). Wendy is a good friend, with a huge heart, but she has a terrible ability to turn a success into a disaster. Some examples might help you to understand how to (do a) Wendy.

1) Wendy was on holiday, sitting in the bar with friends drinking. She decided to go to the toilet, picked up her handbag (why do women do that, what's in the handbag they need?) Sadly the handbag handle caught on the table dragging all the drinks off the table onto the floor. My daughter has done this Wendy!
2) Wendy decided to buy a coffee table on Ebay, she was so excited, her opening bid was winning and indeed did win. She was pleased as punch, her bid was £1.00, plus the delivery £1.50 means she got her table for a bargain price. Only trouble was when it arrived, it was a dolls house coffee table.
3) Wendy had the decorators in, (no that is not a euphemism) to do the toilet, hall stairs and landing, but spotted they had missed odd bits. She decided to touch up the bits they had missed. The toilet was china, the hall stairs and landing cream, she touched up with ......magnolia. (I must admit I have done this.)

So the question is what do I need to do to get this wonderful lady into the dictionary? I assume that if the word becomes part of common parlance it will become adopted into the language, take bungalow (an Indian word) as an example. My wish is therefore in your hands. When someone does something beyond normal actions, please say out loud, "You just did a Wendy". Before long it will be in the dictionary, thanks for your help ;-).

Sunday 1 March 2009

Every day a little bit older

So, Nick Harper then. All I can say is it was a very enjoyable evening. He was playing in the Central Studio, in Basingstoke, Hampshire (England for my overseas readers.) This is an intimate venue, probably only seats a 100 people. He plays an electric acoustic guitar, which with the addition of an effects pedal, gives him a huge range of sounds. As the gig was so intimate, he talked with the audience, some of whom were obviously regular attendees. His music was sort of electric folky rock. My favourite "Magic Feather".

But enough about the gig, I was struck by something far more important. When in the toilets I went to dry my hands, pressed the button on the hand drier, but it didn't work. Pressed it again, then read what it said "Automatic". Sure enough when I put my hands under the drier, it worked fine. It made me wonder though, why have a button. Then I noticed a switch above the drier on the wall labelled neatly "H-drier". Handy I thought, but then spotted that next to this switch was another switch, neatly labelled "Spare". "Spare what?" I asked myself! I was itching to turn it off and see what happened.

Today we went to Eric and Ivy's 170th birthday party. Eric was recently 90 and Ivy 80. I was amused to find that Ivy was the younger sister of Alf (92) who waxed lyrical during the afternoon about his life and times (helped by a few pints of lager I am sure.) It seems there is a gene in this family that gives them longevity, good luck to them all. Alf was an eye opening experience, he has just moved in with his girlfriend (nearly 20 years his junior). I was slightly concerned she might have been a gold digger, I am reliably informed she isn't ;-) I was fascinated by the clarity of his memory of times before the war, I struggle to remember what happened last week. I look forward to Eric and Ivy's 190th party, when (I am sure) I will be able to finish my chat with Alf!

Saturday 28 February 2009

It's my birthday! Too old to party too young to stay in!

Have I told you how much I love music? Any type (well with the exception of the more weirder forms of Jazz.) Having teenage children means I am in touch with contemporary stuff, some of which I love. I am still a Radio One listener, well Radio One in the car, Radio 4 to wake up to and perhaps for the Archers at 7:00. The other day Scott Mills, he's the one that does the "drive time" slot, was berating the music that your parents listened to. As examples he chose things like "The Birdy song", Orville and "Whatsa matter you".

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think people of my generation ever bought that stuff. I think it was people like my Granny who bought it. But here's the point, in any generation there will be music that you are ashamed of buying, but it all has it's good points. I never got into the Birdy song, but at loads of parties a lot of people have taken great delight in it. Lining up in ranks, opening and closing their fingers and bouncing, endless hours of amusement. So I say, bring it on, I would rather listen to Basehunter, than never listen to music again.

Just for interest, in the time it has taken me to write this piece, I have played some Seasick Steve (Google him and watch him on You Tube, there is an unusual rock star if you ever saw one.) Also Lady Sovereign - So Human. Can anyone tell me what Cure record it's a cover of, it's on the tip of my tongue.........

So, it's my Birthday and to celebrate I am off to see Nick Harper will let you know how good he was tomorrow ;-)

Monday 23 February 2009

Papal bull or not your choice

For those of you who don't know a papal bull is a type of letter, normally an edict issued by the Pope. Wikipedia says it was named after the Bulla, a clay seal which was appended to the end to prove authenticity. It came into my mind when I noticed an advert on my blog from "My Vatican tour.com" promising me a guaranteed audience with the pope. Now I am not sure what in my blog made adsense advertise the pope, perhaps it is cleverer than I think.

Historically, I was raised a catholic and I can remember the excitement of actually having an audience with the pope when I was a child. (We are talking a few decades ago now.) My memories not so good with these sort of details, but I suspect it was Paul VI (1963-78) rather than Blessed John XXIII (1958-63). So, I hear you say, what was it like? My recollection was that it was somewhat akin to modern day TV show production. There was an extensive queue, in which we stood for a while. We were ushered into a large auditorium with rows of seats, much like a cinema. Tension built as the time approached, along with the general hubbub of noise. There was a warm up comedian ("Did you here the one about the leprous drummer? His arms fell off boom boom!") The appointed time arrived and his Holiness came onto the stage.

Now for comedic effect I would like to say at this point that the nuns ran screaming to the barriers at the front, threw their knickers onto the stage and yelled "We love you Paul", but I think that was at a Beatles concert I attended in later years. In reality I don't recollect that happening. What I do seem to remember is being a very long way away. So much so that in my minds eye he is now a small person on the stage in the distance (like Madonna at a stadium gig.) He rattled of a few prayers, gave a few blessings then headed off down the pub. All in all a bit disappointing.

The point is, when you look at the adverts on my pages, you cannot always take them at face value. If they offer you an audience with the Pope, make sure you understand what you are getting. Do feel free to click through to find out more, but please don't come back and berate me if you don't read the small print.

By the way, I had a quick look at My Vatican tour and if you are interested their USP seems to be they can help you skip the queue. Could not find clarity about the cosiness of the audience, so suspect the worst. Next time you are in Rome, look them up. Give my regards to Benedict if you do see him.

Sunday 22 February 2009

Well that's good news......

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3072021.stm

Onanists rule OK. No other comment ;-)

YOYOY - Why oh why oh why?

Why do we have news?

Am I alone in finding the news depressing? Why do you never see good news on the telly? It all about fires, death, disaster, credit crunches, recession, arrrgghhhh!

So here you will only see good news, I will make it my life long ambition to find and bring you good news. Watch this space.

Friday 20 February 2009

Lies damn lies and statistics

I remember in the old days when you could only get the internet in black and white, there was a site called LOTD.com. It stood for lie of the day and every day they published a new lie. My favourite was "Polos are made out of the crushed bones of whales". Sadly this site is no more, and many like sites seem to have followed in their footsteps and similarly fallen by the way side.

There is a contemporary site I can recommend "Newsbiscuit". This publishes a daily lie article (bit like most of the tabloids, but in the case of this site they admit to making it up).

My favourite article this week:
Meek still waiting admits Pope
His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI has conceded that there have been unforeseen delays regarding an outstanding commitment made nearly 2000 years ago. In an official communique, the Vatican acknowledged: ‘although it was promised that the Meek shall inherit the Earth, there appear to have been some delays fulfilling this aspiration, and we would ask the Meek to bear with us as we look into the possible causes for this apparent hold-up.’
See the full article here

Whilst you are there have a look at Depressed Twitter addict fails to get suicide note down to 140 characters You can subscribe to a daily email from the site, I recommend it to cheer up some otherwise dismal days.

By the way did you know just as flamingos are pink because they eat shrimp, shrimp are pink because they eat flamingos.

Tuesday 17 February 2009

OK so I am staying in a Travel Lodge (near Cambridge if your interested, Fenstanton) and I'm having a shower, no graphic details, when I see a sign on the wall. It says "please take care when walking or standing in the wet."

Well it struck me as a bit weird, but there I was, under the shower. It was wet. I was standing in it, but I wasn't taking care!! A mild panic grabbed me, what should I do, my initial reaction was run (it didn't say anything about not running) but space was limited, less than 4 feet. So I calmed myself, "What's the worst that can happen?" I thought. I steadied my breathing, continued my shower, but decided not to close my eyes, just in case. You never know!

Before I knew it I had soap in my eyes, I grabbed for the towel and tried to get out of there. Slipped on the wet floor, lost my balance and ended up flat on my back on the floor. Now I understood the warning. Tell you what next time I am having a bath!

Saturday 14 February 2009

Today is the 14th of February, two weeks into the month, half way through and we all know the importance of that don't we? Yup, only 2 weeks to my birthday!!!! Whoop, whoop!

The trouble is that as the years go by and a few have gone by in my life, the importance of the annual celebration becomes less. It all seems such a pain! Getting presents is always nice, but do I really want to celebrate feeling older each day? Normally not, but this year I think I am going to be different!

Life is about friends and family. Without them we are nothing, lonely souls heading towards the end of a lonely life. So this year I want a birthday party. Nothing big you understand, I thought a few friends, pizza's, jelly and ice-cream, maybe a couple of rounds of musical chairs or pass the parcel. I'll let you know.

Oh, I suppose I ought mention the other important event of 14th February, Valentines day. Now I know I am getting old, but am I the only one who thinks the big V day is over hyped. OK, I have to put my cards on the table here and state that I, categorically, have never understood the concept. You see a boy/girl that you like, so you send him/her an anonymous card, with some trite love ditty on it in the hope that he/she will guess it was you and fall into a romantic swoon? No way, get a life! If you really like someone, walk over to them and say "I really like you, fancy a...../insert activity here/." That way you will know straight away what your chances are 1) get a smile you are in, a coy glance away, you are probably in, a grimace, well there's a lot of good stuff on the telly tonight.

Now I am not saying that the "my mate fancies you" approach is the only way to do this, but it's got to be better than an anonymous card surely.